And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
