somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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