I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
