So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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