He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
