So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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