I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
