My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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