Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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