It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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