Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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