i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
