ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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