It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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