i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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