evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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