I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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