The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Randomize
