I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
