His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
