I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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