I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
