i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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