Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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