i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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