Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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