he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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