M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Everything about him screamed your future.
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True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize