I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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