What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
