he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
