Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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