I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
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I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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