At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
