Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
