It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Will exercising make me less horny?
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