after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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