guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
