There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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