kristin has been a bad kristin
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
