My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize