There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
