I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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