All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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