I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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