I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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