If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
