i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am spending my child support on dildos
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
