that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My dick has a subreddit
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
