i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
