Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
