remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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