OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
