Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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