I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
