:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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