thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
