More tranny stories later!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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