The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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